[McCoy] Damnit Jim, don’t tell me we are going back there again!
[Captain] Bones… I must. They are releasing their Botryotinia Fuckeliana Chardonnay. It’s a wine that you can apply topically and remove orally.
[McCoy] Well that sounds interesting, from a medicinal point of view.
[Spock] Highly unusual Captain. I have never encountered a naturally botrytized Oregon Chardonnay before. The manifest indicates it is a low alcohol, high residual sugar “sticky.”
[Captain] Yes, Spock. This is a reference to Earth’s ancient Roman practice of running naked through the poppy fields. The poppy seed pods would burst and the “latex” or “poppy tears” inside would be transferred to the runner. At the end of the run, everyone was “sticky” from the latex. It was then common practice to remove the dried latex orally.
[McCoy] You are talking about Opiates! We will all be addicted in no time and living in the “holodeck!”
[Spock] The holodeck won’t be invented until 2360. But the doctor does make a good point.
[Captain] Look at it this way; you can replicate the experience without risking the addiction to Opiates. Surely Bones, you can see the medicinal benefit in that. Mr. Scott what else is on the manifest?
[Scotty] It appears that the weekend before the Thanksgiving feast is a very special A-List release event. Along with the Botryotinia Fuckeliana Chardonnay there is the “Top Barrel” Syrah. It says it is from the 2010 vintage. That can’t be right Captain; we have the last of the 2010 Satisfaction Syrah in cargo bay 2.
[Spock] Not entirely correct Mr. Scott. On our last visit I noticed an unlabelled pallet of 24 cases. There was an unintelligible code and “SY 2010” written on it. I overheard “Ernie” mention something about a very special barrel of the Estate grown syrah that was held back from the Satisfaction bottling.
[Scotty] That 2010 Satisfaction Syrah was the cat’s pajamas! It was the highest rated Willamette Valley Syrah in 2010. This Top Barrel must be something to behold!
[Captain] Yes, it seems they are boldly growing where no Syrah was grown before.
[McCoy] Well, if we are gong to go, it should be the weekend before Thanksgiving. It says here that the 2013 Botryotinia Fuckeliana Chardonnay and the 2010 Top Barrel Syrah will not be offered on the following weekend.
[Captain] We must investigate a nearby asteroid belt and I think we will have just enough time to pick up my A-List shipment.
[Scotty] Yeah, I think I can see that asteroid belt all the way from Engineering.
Star Trek into Wine Country - Botryotinia Fuckeliana
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