[Scotty] I would be interested in a wee dram of that nectar myself, Captain.

[Captain] Then it’s settled. As a member of the A-List I am bestowed the privilege of bringing 4 friends with me. And from the looks of it, you four will have to do.

[Scotty] And just when did you become an A-List member with Amalie Robert Estate?

[Captain] Mr. Scott, really? The captain of the Enterprise not on the A-List? Don’t you have somewhere to be? Like getting me warp power?

[Scotty] I told him she wasn’t gonna take much more before coming apart at the seams.

[Scotty] I’ll give ya all she’s got, Captain!

[Captian] Mr. Sulu, set a course for Amalie Robert Estate. Warp 9. We have just 5 days to attain orbit and beam down to the planet. And I will need to find some beads or trinkets to barter with. Do we have any of those Tribbles left?

[Sulu] Aye Captain. Amalie Robert Estate is well past Far Point Station and we will be dangerously close to the Neutral Zone. I suggest we plot a course past Ceti Alpha V.

[Spock] Not to mention the NapaSonoma Nebula, Captain. Few have escaped, and those that have are irreparably damaged.

[Scotty] Captain, if ye wanted to get to Amalie Robert Estate, you should have left 2 light years ago!

[Captain] Mr. Sulu, I don’t care if we go around the backside of Uranus, just get me there in 3 days!

[McCoy] Jim, are you insane? They will be releasing over 2,000 Clones. We don’t have any way to handle that!

[Spock] 2010 “Dijon Clones” to be exact.

Star Trek into Wine Country - First Contact

Captains Log, Julian Calendar Date 324: I have just been alerted through cyberspace to the Pre-Thanksgiving, A-List Open House at Amalie Robert Estate this Saturday. Among the many fine wines they grow, I am keenly interested in the 2012 vintage Viognier. It is rumored to be the finest Viognier produced in the galaxy, and at just 156 bottles available, I do not want to risk being caught out. That and I want to get a good spot to orbit before the Romulans arrive.

Ships Log, Supplemental: [Spock] We have completed our mission to Amalie Robert Estate and are now following a Star Fleet order specifying us to return directly to Starbase 74 for repairs to the warp drive and an inquiry with Admiral Lovell. The Captain’s urgent Warp 9 mission to Amalie Robert Estate has taken the warp core offline and caught the attention of Star Fleet Command. We have just left Earth orbit and are only able to achieve impulse power. If my calculations are correct, we will reach Starbase 74 in 2 days.

[Scotty] That sounds like “Kirk out” to me.

[Sulu] Did the Captain ever find his communicator?

[Spock] One of the indigenous female life forms still had it as we were preparing to beam aboard. She returned it to him and said “Declined.”

[Sulu] The Tribbles seemed to be poplar there.

[Scotty] I told the Captain that was a bad idea. Not only has he lost his communicator, we have violated the Prime Directive and left Tribbles behind!

[Spock] Mr. Scott, I think you should inspect Cargo Bay 3 with the doctor. I believe you will find not only the Captain’s communicator and a full case of “Our Muse” Viognier, but all the Tribbles to be accounted for.

[McCoy] Damnit Spock, I’m a physician not a warehouse manager!

[Scotty] Don’t bother yourself with Cargo Bay 3 doctor, I can handle it alright. I will just stop by Engineering to pick up my hand held, Teflon coated worm gear drive. {exits to turbolift}

[Sulu] I think he means a “Cork Screw.”

[McCoy] Just as long as he gets straight before we all have to go and see the Admiral. 

[Sulu] I cannot be certain, but I thought I saw a Romulan Warbird decloaking as we were leaving orbit.

[McCoy] I think we all saw a little more decloaking than we needed to on this trip.

[Scotty] Well Mr. Spock, that Amalie Robert Estate Viognier is more than just heavenly nectar. It packs a punch!

[Spock] It may be wise to forget to mention anything about decloaking in front of Admiral Lovell on Starbase 74.

[Scotty] Speaking of decloaking, where is the captain? It looked like he had a wee bit much of that nectar and was feeling no pain!

[McCoy] Resting quietly in Sickbay. He made me turn off the lights… Something about them making too much noise.

[Captain] Viognier. The final frontier. When done right, it is sublime nectar. Say it with me Bones: “V – OWN- YEAH!”

[McCoy] I’m a physician Jim, not an enologist!

[Spock] Captain, I find it highly irregular you would take the ship and its crew on such a hedonistic endeavor.

[McCoy] Come on down to sickbay Spock, I’ve got something for that irregularity of yours.

[Captain] Spock, move away from the doctor.